how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
