So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He? As in you personified your dick?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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