i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm too high and old for this...
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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