you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
