I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
