The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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