that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
