Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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