i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
