if i can run in heels then i can drive
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
they need to just BURY HIM!
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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