So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
