I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
