yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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