I hope my margaritas pass through security.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i would one night stand the shit outta him
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
