I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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