My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
