Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
