Moan for me like Helen Keller
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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