Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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