hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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