im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
