im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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