i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
