my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
