Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Randomize
