it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
