I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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