C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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