i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
this hospital has no fireball
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
