For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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