So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
