I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
