Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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