i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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