dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
