i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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