i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
