You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he wants to bone in the snuggie
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
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