did you get engaged???
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
