Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
