I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
