whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
there was a trapeze. enough said
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
