THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
