Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Randomize
