hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
