I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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