The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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