Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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