they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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