Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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