There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
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