dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
